


Cry Me a River

by ollie_oxen_free



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Death, Gift Fic, M/M, Violence, actual tags, careful not to cut yourself on all that Edge, fuck boi we got a long here, im gonna stop tagging now, merry christmas crush, mmmmmm, monster racism, razz being an asshole, separated into small scenes, shitty - Freeform, when is he not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ollie_oxen_free/pseuds/ollie_oxen_free
Summary: we can dance in the waters





	Cry Me a River

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CrushingOnSans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushingOnSans/gifts).



> MERRY CHRISTMAS, CRUSH! im allowed to be sappy, dammit. i cant tell you how grateful i am to have you as a friend. i wish i was better at words or being genuine, but thats not one of my gifts, so i hope that this gift shows just how much i appreciate the fact that you tolerate me and actually enjoy being around me??? like what the fuck??? youre one of the nicest and funniest people i know and this christmas and turn of the year im thankful that i get to know you. again, merry christmas, and i hope you enjoy your gift!  
> \---  
> two different songs:  
> [x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onb5GBqHM6c) and [x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzB6YSG5cQo)

Showing emotion was weak. Joy was for the ignorant, sadness was for the simple-minded, fear was for the cowardly, and uncontrolled anger would only result in death. Emotions - positive or negative - showed that a monster cared, that they could be affected by outside influences and manipulated by others. Razz had learned long ago that such feelings would get him killed. The utter uselessness of the feelings hadn’t been gathered by his mind, of course. The emotions still came. All he could do was not react to them.

Meeting the other universes had been an interesting experience, to say the least. When he had worked back in the labs, he was well aware of the concept of alternate universes, and the possibilities of them existing (that was as far as the memories really went, he had found, a systematic amnesia that came whenever he was trying too hard to acquire anything else from the time, skull nearly splitting with headaches until the pain made him black out), but actually seeing the theories come to life in person was an experience that he was far from expecting.

There was little use to the other universes, he’d come to find out. Of course, they could be harvested for EXP, but Razz knew that such would expend more effort than it was truly worth. His own universe was a dystopia, and he had no real desire to transform any others into such as the Fellverses.

That didn’t mean that he liked the universes, though.

The open show of emotion was sickening based on the standards he had grown up with himself, and he wanted next to nothing to do with their weaker selves. Razz had worked far too hard to have it all wasted on the barriers he had made for himself being torn down. Papyrus- Slim, he reminded himself- seemed to enjoy the other, softer universes, though. A reprieve from his life in Swapfell.

Razz wanted nothing to do with the other universes, wanted to simply accept their existence and move on, but Slim’s involvement made such difficult. Especially when his brother started to… _soften_ at the contact with the kinder verses. Luckily, his brother simply had to rely on himself for protection. Slim was allowed a sliver of weakness, of emotion. Razz wasn’t. Not even when a human child fell, carrying with them a strange creature, speaking a dangerous message of kindness and peace.

They had knowledge beyond their years if the hollowed yet hopeful eyes were anything to go off of, befriending when they could and running when they couldn’t. The human had broken the barrier, and for the first time Razz had found himself wishing for an openness of emotion, fresh air running across his bones and the warm light of what must have been the sun making him squint.

There had been celebrations in the Taleverses- Underfell and his own included, but with the tone more of final revenge than hopeful joy- and with some reluctance (read: violence) Slim had managed to drag him to one of the parties.

Razz had hated the other universes for a while at that point, hating how easy their existence was and how relaxed they could be, but as he stood in the corner of the celebration, eyes roaming over their softer counterparts and other Taleverse monsters, he couldn’t help but feel a twisted sense of pity. Their joy was misplaced. Through his life, Razz had learned that only the unaware celebrate, blind to the possible dangers ahead and unseeing of any attacks coming to stab from behind. Such blind celebration was what he saw at that moment. He’d decided to stay anyways.

They were all weak, Razz knew, but he refused to expend any effort trying to strengthen or help them. Not when their emotions were so volatile and difficult to understand on both the positive and negative sides of the scale. Part of him was almost offended by it (most especially by the counterpart closest to himself), that they would dare to insult his image and power with their laughter and grins and sickening _hope,_ but a majority of such was the LV in his soul wishing for a reason to lash out, so he ignored it. Such didn’t mean that he enjoyed their company whatsoever, of course.

Always reaching out and expecting the same reactions from those around them. Blue was the worst about it.

“Aren’t you going to join the party?”

Razz flicked his gaze uncaringly over to the skeleton he had just been thinking about in distaste, taking another drink. “Am I not at your fucking party?”

The expression on his face flinched a bit. Razz could almost laugh. It was so _easy_ to change their emotions. “I guess if you count standing against the wall and glaring at everyone joining it.”

Razz took another drink, turning away from the other in disinterest. Blue obviously took such as a sign to continue to involve him in conversation. “Slim seems to be enjoying himself. Maybe you would too, if you gave it a shot.” And then he smiled, radiating warmth and happiness and caring so strongly, despite Razz’s past and appearances, and it made him _sick._

Blue wouldn’t survive an hour in Swapfell.

“I’m not my brother, in case you were too ignorant to notice.”

The smile fell once more, to Razz’s relief. “I… I know that.” Blue looked away, shifting back and forth between his feet, the hand not holding his drink clenching and unclenching in thought. “It seems like it wasn’t the easiest in you guys’ universe,” Razz scoffed out a laugh, “but you aren’t there right now.”

“Plus!” And his face lit up the slightest bit at the exclamation. “You’re on the surface! We aren’t trapped under the mountain anymore! We can see the sun, and the stars, and everything that the surface has to offer- everything that we’ve dreamed about for our whole lives!” His voice became softer, gaze flicking down to the ground with a soft smile on his face and tears starting to gather in the corners of his eyes. “It’s… more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.”

Razz waited a few moment for the soft words and sweet sayings to start up again, raising a brow when they didn’t. “Are you finished?” Blue blinked, giving a small, hesitant nod. “Then stop fucking crying. You look like a damned toddler.”

He didn’t wait for the indignation, or anger, or the tears (he honestly hoped it was the last of the three) before he shoved Blue away with his shoulder, walking towards the door. It was revolting, how easily his counterpart could allow himself to fall into something so pathetic. He didn’t bother to say anything as he went back to Swapfell.

 

* * *

 

He had been right. One of the best things about himself being right was someone else being wrong, and knowing that the Taleverse monsters (Blue especially) were essentially blindsided by such a reaction from the humans was laughable. To think that they believed that humans would accept the monsters! In his own universe, riots amongst the races were common, bodies and dust clogging the streets. No official war had been announced yet, but it was unlikely that any peace would be worked out. At least they defended themselves, though. They fought back, they were prepared for a war- _they_ **_wanted_ ** _a war,_ his bloodlust told him, and he couldn’t entirely argue.

But the weaker universes didn’t. None of them seemed to care about the laws humans put in place, the curfews and commands and controls. It was pathetic, how weak they were and how easily they allowed themselves to be pushed around. Yet, for some incomprehensible reason, he still allowed himself to associate with them. For his brother, he told himself, since even the tension in the Taleverses was a fucking vacation compared to everything in their own universe.

Razz sighed out of his nose as he stepped across the threshold into Underswap, glancing around in boredom before making his way out of the shed. It was surprising that the brothers hadn’t regulated their machine for travelling. They had a lack of foresight, in his opinion. No one ever wanted to visit Swapfell (for good reason), yet he still had a filter, still was alerted and had to approve every time that someone attempted to create a portal to or from his universe. For Blue and Stretch to just allow free travel from universes like Underfell and Swapfell was baffling, especially considering that at any moment the individual coming across the boundary between them might not be one of the skeleton brothers that they seemed so fond of. Their decisions were their own, though.

The shed door was well-oiled, the hinges sliding with barely a sound, and as he stepped outside he looked over their small lawn and the back of the house. A fresh coat of paint covered the outside of the brick. He wondered what the vandals had written on the house this time around. Humans were creative in their insults- and in the fact that they used insults in the first place- but after a while the same phrases seemed to repeat themselves over and over again. It was especially hilarious when they spelt “Mount Ebbott” wrong.

The front door was unlocked, as it usually was during the day, and he entered the house without much fanfare, looking blankly over the furniture. The empty furniture. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat. So Slim was either in Tale or at that damned bar, or possibly both, though he’d never been fond of Grillby. Just as he was about to leave, the front door whipped open and slammed into the frame, shaking a few of the pictures hanging on the wall. Razz turned, a wisp of magic trailing up from his socket as magic raced across his arms with such speed that it crackled like electricity.

It was only Blue, surprisingly enough, the other storming in and kicking his shoes off into the corner of the house. Light blue tears were trailing down his face, body radiating anger and frustration. He didn’t seem to notice Razz for a few moments- long enough for a lethal attack, his mind informed him- simply staring at the floor, hands clenched into fists at his sides. And then he sighed, the tension seeming to leave his body as the tears came a little faster, looking up dejectedly.

The other’s sockets widened when they landed on him, staring for a few moments before his hands came up, quickly swiping away the tears. It seemed he was learning, though Razz had long since found that the action was unnecessary when not in a Fellverse.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was scratchy, the drawl to the words slightly more noticeable than usual.

“What, no warm welcome?” Blue didn’t say anything, just gave him a half-hearted, tired glare, gaze moving back to the floor as he walked past him and into the kitchen. That was interesting. Normally he would have walked away himself, but he saw no real harm in trying to find where Slim was. And, perhaps, the reason that he was crying in what seemed like anger. “I’m looking for my brother.”

Blue barely glanced at him as he pulled off his few pieces of armor, hanging them on a hook just beside the entrance to the kitchen. “He’s not here.” The other stated, voice clipped.

His magic flared as Blue turned his back on him, like he _wasn’t_ a threat, _wasn’t_ dangerous, _wasn’t_ worried that Razz could at any moment dust him with little to no remorse. Like he wasn’t worth paying attention to. The familiar heat of rage was building in his core, but amongst the heat was curiosity. This was something new: something unexpected. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and heel casually kicked up as his gaze followed the other around the room, watching him gather ingredients and line them on the counters. The staring must have gotten to him after a while, as he fumbled with a bottle of chili powder before slamming it on the counter beside the other ingredients.

Blue leaned forward, arms gripping the counter and bracing himself up as he took in a deep breath. He was so _reactive,_ speaking through gritted teeth. “Is there something else that you needed?”

“Am I not allowed to stay?”

Blue tensed up, and a flash of something familiar entered his eyes before it was quelled, his entire figure slouching in something akin to defeat. “I guess, if you want,” he spoke quietly.

Razz found himself almost disappointed. He was enjoying the visceral side of his counterpart. Though, if he couldn’t receive any more reactions by pushing the other’s emotions, then the least he could do was find out what garnered such a reaction in the first place. “What had you so worked up earlier?”

Blue gave him an annoyed glance before stooping down to a cabinet beside the oven, pulling out an iron skillet. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.” He tilted his head the slightest bit to the left with a cruel smirk. “I’m just curious what changed you from bubbly to boiling.”

Blue said nothing, though his face did twist up into the ghost of his expression when he’d first come in before it dropped back off. “‘Just curious.’ Of course.” He reached over the stove, clicking the heat on before moving back, hands skimming over the ingredients as if he was taking stock of where everything was placed before he sighed.

“I’m certain that you’re probably happy to know that things aren’t going the best for us on the surface.”

Ah, so that was it. The other had finally realized what fresh hell they had all gotten themselves into. Razz hummed. “So I’ve heard. Do you still think it’s as beautiful as you used to?”

He’d been expecting tense, angry silence, for Blue to glance at him out of the corner of his eye and turn back to his preparations, pretending not to hear the words, not wanting to admit he was wrong. But he didn’t. Blue turned to face him fully, eyes flashing once more- not in rage, but hope and indignation- as he tilted his chin upwards.

“I do. It’s not as perfect as I used to imagine it to be.” His hands clenched into fists at his sides once more, gaze piercing. “But just because you enjoy others being miserable in order to make yourself feel better does not mean that everyone holds those feelings. It’s far from perfect.” He turned away from the stove, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a pack of raw chicken. “But I’m willing to wait and work until it’s as close as it can get.”

Razz didn’t say anything to that; he had no idea what he would say in the first place. So he just stood there, staring at the freshly-cut strips of chicken that were now sizzling in the pan, watching as Blue sliced strips of peppers to join them as well. The fact that the other could still have hope despite everything was baffling. Naivete, maybe, but Blue had stood firm against him regardless, and the antagonism that was boiling in his chest was muffled by his questioning.

There was a very fine line between bravery and stupidity, and Blue was currently walking it. All he had to do now was see where the hope would make him fall.

Blue glanced up at him as he added handfuls of peppers, sprinkling chili powder over the ingredients with a few other spices. He took a wooden spatula, stirring the mix a bit before he spoke. “You can stay for supper, if you’d like. Slim and Papy will be back soon anyways.”

Razz kept silent, but walked up to the counter, grabbing an onion and starting to peel it.

Frankly, he was leaning towards stupidity.

 

* * *

 

If Blue was stupid, then Razz was an idiot. Which was to say that either Blue was smarter than he’d originally thought, or that he himself was weak and easy to manipulate. He was loathe to admit to either.

However, despite these thoughts, Razz still continued to come to the universe more and more often. His searching for answers had made the gap between the universes more obvious to him, especially as shaky steps towards better relations were being taken. And (he despised to admit this as well, _wouldn’t_ confess even if someone asked him) he was starting to enjoy his own time in the universes. Underswap in particular was his downfall. And that was what it was in the vague sense. His downfall, his vice, something that plagued his thoughts, something that he craved more and more, wishing to move away from the meetings for war plans, should the relations come to such, instead of cooking with Blue or rolling his eyes in hate (pretending to hate) when the other had something particularly interesting about the surface to show him.

Blue was forgiving, in that sense. Not kind, in particular, but forgiving beyond what he really deserved. The fact that he knew what he deserved pissed him off more than receiving the forgiveness, in honesty. So he had tried to rationalize it. In doing so, he had found out two things.

One: Blue was, based on the decisions that he had made and continued to make, brave and stupid in equal parts.

Two: Razz enjoyed Underswap solely because of his interactions with Blue, meaning that he enjoyed being with Blue as opposed to being in the universe itself. In short- Razz actually was an idiot.

Feelings- platonic or romantic or whatever they were- were dangerous in his universe. They were a means of being reliant on someone else, and that kind of reliance was only for the weak. Despite his deliberation, the emotions didn’t go away.

And, after deeper thought, Razz decided that as long as he kept them hidden, he didn’t mind having them.

That was how he had worked out his staying in Underswap despite everything, that was the reason why he had been in the brother’s house with Blue when the other got a call late at night.

Razz had been in the middle of listening to Blue go over the main points of his favorite show with feigned disinterest, but he perked up as the cheery ringtone sounded off. Blue paused mid-explanation, a confused look crossing his face as he lifted his hips up from the couch, answering the phone.

“Hello?”

Razz could hear the muffled sound of a voice on the other end, watching the other for a few moments before he rolled his eyes, propping his head up on the armrest of the couch and using the other to pick and twist at a loose thread from the cover. Their couch was shitty, of course, the sofa being one of the few universal constants. His prodding didn’t help that fact, but he was bored and Blue was otherwise occupied with his call-

“YES!”

Razz jumped up, yanking his hand away from the couch and ripping the thread out as he backed away, eye flashing. No immediate threat, his mind informed him, so he took in a slow breath, forcing his magic back down. Blue gave him an apologetic grin- which was ruined by how unremorseful he was, bouncing slightly in place- before thanking the individual on the other end, hanging up and bursting out in laughter. Razz looked away in discomfort. The reaction vaguely reminded him of the mental breakdowns that he had seen before.

“What the hell was that?”

Blue turned to him, smile still splitting his face, pupils blown into stars. “It was a nearby college!”  He laughed again, hands clenched into fists in front of his body. There was a light blue sheen of tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “They said that they’d transfer my degrees so they applied aboveground!”

Razz nodded. That was… good. Blue laughed again, arms shaking like he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the energy before he sucked in a breath, lunging at Razz. Razz tensed, the start of a growl rumbling up from the back of his throat at the embrace before he forced it down. He was weaker than he had thought, to just let someone hold him in such a vulnerable position like that. Razz moved his arms, letting them lay loosely over Blue’s back.

He tried to hide his disappointment when it ended, Blue rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish grin and apology. The tears were still glimmering in the corners of his sockets, and Razz had the sudden urge to wipe them away. The feeling passed.

Blue stepped back another step, taking in a deep breath before his grin became impossibly wider. “I have to call Papyrus!” Razz didn’t bother to correct him on the use of the name that four people shared, simply nodding as Blue scampered off into the kitchen, tapping enthusiastically at his phone.

He swallowed, looking away and, after a few moments of not knowing what to do, sitting down. All he could do was hope that the slight heat on his face would diminish before Blue returned.

 

* * *

 

Dating Blue was similar to just being with Blue. Of course, dating anyone usually involved being with them- or at the very least, talking to them. The heavens didn’t open, choirs of angels didn’t pour from the sky, God himself didn’t come down and speak a few words to the ears of man and monster alike. Though he doubted that the divine creator of the universe(s?) would make his presence known simply because he held Blue’s hand now when they walked down the street.

Even so, it was basically a miracle that they had come that far.

Blue was simple and complex all rolled into a skeleton with a bandana, which is what Razz found so intriguing about him. There were constants: his smile, his positive outlook, the slight skip in his step when he was in a good mood or a more neutral mood (even a bad mood held the same skipping sort of gait, in honesty). Though the things that Razz was truly drawn to were the rarer emotions. Blue wouldn’t stand there and take it. He would lash back with words, or react in a way that was the opposite of expected, how Blue was patient to a point, until that invisible line was crossed and the aspect of his soul would seem to disappear for a few short moments.

Though Blue was far more patient than Razz.

And it tended to show itself when he was moments away from lashing out, only to be pulled away by a calm and gently smiling Blue. Part of Razz hated the fact that he was somehow losing control of his emotions from spending time in Underswap. He would never act rashly in Swapfell when he wasn’t in immediate danger. Instead he would wait, would bide his time with the patience of a killer for when he could strike the final blow, or would pull strings from the shadows until they came about their own downfall. Underswap (Blue) stripped him of his callous and left him with raw emotions that he was forced to deal with on his own.

Not truly on his own, he thought, the hand around his own giving his iron grip a light squeeze. He loosened his clenched hand, pretending not to notice Blue’s sigh of relief as the grasp lessened. The other smiled at him, taking a step and a half closer so their shoulders brushed against one another. It was peaceful, being with Blue, the other’s presence keeping him in check with warmth instead of cold. Though the peace never lasted long.

Razz noticed the humans and their intent long before they reached them, scanning over their form for any concealed weapons. There was nothing that he could see, though he still tensed, his magic beginning the hungry prickle across his bones in promise of blood. Blue squeezed his hand once more, reminding him of where he was, and Razz swallowed, cutting off the growl that had started to rumble in his throat without his notice. The group of humans stopped a few feet in front of them, and Razz would have stopped as well, had it not been for Blue’s gentle tugging on his hand, pulling him past the group and their jeers and curses.

Earshot for humans was a lot smaller than earshot for monsters, so once they were out of range, Razz turned to him. “I could have killed them all.”

Blue nodded. “I know.”

He waited for a few more moments. “The humans here aren’t expecting a fight. If you were to spread the people out enough and attack in surprise, then you could wipe out a majority of the race. A few months and some absorbed human souls after that, and you could bring them to extinction.”

Blue was silent for long enough that Razz assumed that the other had decided to drop the topic, staring straight ahead. When he spoke, his voice was slightly strained. “You’re not in Swapfell right now, Razz. You’re here.” At that, he squeezed his hand once more, as if the action would ground him further in the moment. “With me. And… I care about you. A lot.”

Razz stopped in his steps, seeing Blue’s concerned look fade into shock as he tugged him forward, hesitating for just a moment before he pushed past his reservations, planting a rare, gentle kiss against the other’s teeth. Blue hadn’t truly responded to his statement, of course. The vague answer he was given was just that: vague. Though Razz knew even before he said it that Blue and the rest of Underswap wouldn’t do it.

Not that they couldn’t. The monsters, if they attacked with enough force and with enough surprise, especially while peace was trying to be worked towards at the human’s most vulnerable moment, could easily follow the plan, albeit with a few tweaks and modifications. They could wipe out humanity. But they wouldn’t. They could, but they wouldn’t, and Razz knew this, and Blue knew this, both of them dancing around the nature of the matter.

As he pulled back from the kiss, he noticed that the slight glimmer of tears in the corners of his eyes had yet to disappear. Blue gave him a smile and, after glancing around the area, Razz briefly returned it.

The song and dance of their true abilities was more than a little obnoxious, as was the denial (or withholding) and such facts.

Razz decided to file it once more towards the list of odd things that made up Blue.

 

* * *

 

Despite the peace of the universe, Razz should have known better than to have let his guard down. Then again, if he had any intelligence in him at all, then he never would have entertained the thought of staying in Underswap longer than it took to grab his brother and go. Yet he had stayed, he hadn’t made the intelligent decision to just leave, so when things went to shit it was his own damn fault.

He swore as he stumbled, leaning heavily against the rough brick of the wall beside him. The pain wasn’t difficult to tune out. He’d had worse before, something much more damaging than the shattered side of his left rib cage, dripping marrow onto the ground (no matter how much the wound seemed to burn over his entire body in waves of hot and cold and made breathing difficult). Concealed weapons were a lot easier to find when they were made of magic. Turns out that guns weren’t.

The injury was the least of his concerns at the moment as his shoulder scraped against the wall, moving past the battered bodies of the groaning humans to where he knew Blue had been. It was hard to turn the other cheek when you’re surrounded.

The dim glow from the streetlamps managed to light the dark alley enough for him to see Blue on the ground, and he forced himself to move faster as the other stirred, starting to push himself up. His gaze met him, slightly hazy, a large crack on his skull leaking blood down the side of his face. He was holding his arm close to his chest as well, the bat that the human that had come after him had been wielding lying a few feet to the right.

Razz sucked in a breath, coughing soon after. A trickle of blood worked its way out of his mouth. He wiped it away, thankful that his gloves were dark cloth. “You alright?”

Blue nodded, shifting enough so he could get his feet under himself, managing to stand. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine.”

Razz stepped forward, away from the wall- a mistake, he realized, as he fell to the ground. A mistake just like getting up had been, and walking home in the dark had been. Just like letting his damn guard down had been.

He hit the ground hard enough to knock what little breath he still had out of his non-existent lungs, shutting his eyes tight as the pain hit him like a train. There was ringing in his skull for a split second where he was just _pain_ before it faded out enough that he could crack open an eye and hear Blue’s concern. Hear his fear.

The fear was more palpable, he thought, or maybe it was more recognizable than the concern. His eyes were blue, very blue, which is why they called him Blue in the first place. They were gorgeous, even when they were filled with tears.

“Razz? Please, answer me!”

He mumbled something, the words not quite making it past his teeth, the sound making his chest hurt impossibly worse. Blue’s eyes flitted down to his shirt, and Razz saw the exact moment when the wound registered in his mind, the other’s eyes widening in shock and mouth parting slightly.

The shirt was torn off of him within seconds- not that it covered all that much to begin with (god, he was even stupid enough to not wear his armor, he was basically asking to be attacked)- and he heard Blue suck in a breath as the other got a glimpse of his ribs. It couldn’t have been that bad, if it was just his ribs, though the horror shown on the other’s face- easily visible in the purple light that washed him in shadows- proved that it was enough for concern.

It was around two seconds later that he realized that street lamps weren’t purple, and it was two seconds after that when he felt his soul drifting up from his chest, taking the clarity of the word around him away as it hovered just above his body. The cause for concern was obvious after that, a large chunk of the side of his soul missing, raw magic bleeding from the jagged edge and dripping down below, disintegrating into the air. The bullet must have grazed it, which would definitely explain more than one thing about the situation.

Blue’s shuddered breath brought him back to reality, and he refocused his gaze on the other to see him ripping his gloves off, green magic already sparking down his arms and attempting to fill the wounds and mend the breaks. It wouldn’t work, they both knew. Razz reached his arm up anyways, placing in on top of where Blue’s hands were resting on his ribs with no small amount of difficulty.

Something dripped onto his sternum, and he looked back at Blue’s face to see that he was crying, fat tears rolling down his cheekbones and dripping off of his chin to splatter against his chest. He sucked in a breath before swallowing, trying to make his words work like he wanted them to.

He gritted his teeth. “S-stop crying.” Blue didn’t flinch, didn’t try to slow the tears that were working their way down his face. It wasn’t a concern to him. It never had been. “Please.”

That got his attention. Blue looked up and met his eyelights, his own wavering in their sockets, their light reflected in the tears pooling under his eyes. “You’re- you’re going to be fine, okay?”

Razz gave a nod of his head. The thing about souls was that they were much, much better at sensing intent. Combined with the fact that- even without his soul exposed- Razz had a hairline trigger for those kinds of things, Blue was basically screaming that he didn’t believe his statement for a fucking second. He wanted to believe it so badly, but they both knew it was a lie.

The pain was beginning to fade out, to his relief and apprehension, his fingers and feet already starting to go numb, like they weren’t getting enough magic. With the way that his soul was draining, he wasn’t surprised. The pain that was evident all over his body was still there, of course, most of it radiating from his ribs.

His soul was exposed. Everything was slow, taking him a while to process, but when he realized that, he jolted up. The sudden movement made the pain worse- god, it was just _pain,_ had spending so much time in the softer universe really weakened him to the point of reacting so greatly to such?- and he winced, Blue making a panicked noise as he adjusted him back on the ground. Healing magic was still pumping into his body, making everything seem heavy. Razz wondered if he should fall asleep.

He squeezed Blue’s hand in his own, though his grip was so weak that his fingers barely even twitched. “I love you,” he said, meaning it with all genuinity and with an increasing awareness of just how weak his soul was growing as it tried to keep him together. Blue reached a hand up, keeping the flow of healing magic going just beside his ribs, wiping away the sweat and tears on his cheekbones. The hand left a shimmering trail down his face. Razz had seen dust often enough to know what it looked like.

“You’re going to be okay,” Blue stated firmly, still not believing it. Razz managed to reach a hand up, resting it against the side of Blue’s face and pulling forwards.

_Killing him would provide him with the energy he needed to repair his soul and heal himself._

The flow of healing magic slowed, Blue’s face twisting into something horrible and grieving as he let the hand lead him forward. Razz could hear the voices of others approaching with the sirens of the police. Took them long enough. He fought back a laugh as he felt the magic cut off entirely.

_There’s still a chance. They would blame it on the humans, and you could come back later and extend the favor to them._

Blue’s teeth pressed to his own in a kiss that was somehow more intimate and meaningful than they had ever shared. Then again, he was dying, magic bleeding out of him in front of the other, so he damn well better hope that the kiss was meaningful. Footsteps were approaching.

Blue whispered, “I love you too,” voice thick and eyes watery, both filled with pain.

_Kill him._

He closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> that was interesting! once again, merry christmas, crush. im so lucky to know you.


End file.
